Hold On To Your Catholic Kids: Lack of Attachment and Proclivity to Violence

Dr. Neufeld on Discipline

"The less children are in need of disciline, the more effective any method will be. The obverse is also true: the more a child is in need of discipline, the less effective the commonly taught discipline techniques will be.

"What makes any child difficult to discipline is the absence of the factors that provide the basis for our natural principles of imposing order on behavior. It is difficult to discipline a child who is not easily induced to consider the thoughts and feelings that would keep the troubling impulses in check, who cannot be brought to form good intentions, is unable to feel the futility of a course of action, and lacks the motivation to be good for those in charge. With such children the temptation for us is to become more heavy-handed. Unfortunately, adding force usually backfires for the very same reasons that the child is more difficult to discipline in the first place: coercion elicits counterwill, punishment provokes retaliation, yelling leads to tuning out, sanctions evoke aggression, time-outs lead to emotional detachment. When reasonable attempts to disciline do not work, the answer is not to discipline harder but to discipline differently."

Wisdom of Saints and Scholars (and such...)

On Discipline: "The birch is used only out of a bad temper and weakness, for the birch is a servile punishment which degrades the soul even when it corrects, if indeed it corrects, for its usual effect is to harden."~~St. Jean Baptiste de la Salle, "On the Conduct of Christian Schools" (1570)

On Balance: "Cleanliness is more important when Godliness is unlikely."~~P. J. O'Rourke

On Responding with Sensitivity: "No person is ever made better by having someone else tell him how rotten he is..."~~Fulton Sheen, Peace of Soul

On Time-Out: "We should love our neighbor as ourself, and it is not a proof of love to shun him..."~~St. Francis de Sales, Introduction to the Devout Life

On Punishment: "There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and he who fears is not perfected in love."~~1 Jn 4:18

On Human Dignity: "The difference between a lady and a flower girl is not how she behaves, but how she is treated."~~Miss Eliza Dolittle

Litany of the Sorrowful Mother

Lord, have mercy on us.
Christ, have mercy on us.
Lord, have mercy on us.
Christ, hear us.
Christ, graciously hear us.

God the Father of Heaven,Have mercy on us.
God the Son, Redeemer of the world,Have mercy on us.
God the Holy Ghost,Have mercy on us.
Holy Trinity, One God,Have mercy on us.

Holy Mary, conceived without sin,Pray for us.
Holy Mother of God,Pray for us.
Mother of Christ,Pray for us.
Mother of Our Saviour Crucified,Pray for us.
Mother most Sorrowful,Pray for us.
Mother most tearful,Pray for us.
Mother most afflicted,Pray for us.
Mother most lonely,Pray for us.
Mother most desolate,Mother pierced by the sword of sorrow,Pray for us.
Queen of martyrs,Pray for us.
Comfort of the sorrowful,Pray for us.
Help of the needy,Pray for us.
Protectress of the forsaken,Pray for us.
Support of widows and orphans,Pray for us.
Health of the sick,Pray for us.
Hope of the troubled,Pray for us.
Haven of the ship-wrecked,Pray for us.
Refuge of sinners,Pray for us.
Hope of the despairing,Pray for us.
Mother of mercy,Pray for us.

Through thy poverty in the stable of Bethlehem,Pray for us.
Through thy sorrow at the prophecy of Simeon,Pray for us.
Through thy sad flight into Egypt,Pray for us.
Through thy anxiety when seeking thy lost Child,Pray for us.
Through thy grief when seeing thy divine Son persecuted,Pray for us.
Through thy fear and anxiety when Jesus was apprehended,Pray for us.
Through thy pain caused by the treason of Judasand the denial of Peter,Pray for us.
Through thy sad meeting with Jesus on the way of the Cross,Pray for us.
Through the tortures of thy loving Heartat the Crucifixion of Jesus,Pray for us.
Through thy agony at the death of Jesus,Pray for us.
Through the sword of sorrow that pierced thy heartwhen the side of Jesus was transfixed by the lance,Pray for us.
Through thy lamentations over the dead Bodyof thy divine Son lying on thy bosom,Pray for us.
Through thy deep mourning at His tomb,Pray for us.
Through thy desolation after the burial of Jesus,Pray for us.
Through the tears thou didst shed for thy beloved Son,Pray for us.
Through thy wonderful resignation to the will of God in all thy sufferings,Pray for us.

O Queen of peace,Pray for us.

In all our tribulations,Pray for us.In our illnesses and pains,Pray for us.
In our sorrows and afflictions,Pray for us.
In our need and destitution,Pray for us.
In our fears and dangers,Pray for us.
In the hour of our death,Pray for us.
On the Day of Judgment,Pray for us.

Lamb of God, Who takest away the sins of the world,Spare us, O Lord.
Lamb of God, Who takest away the sins of the World, Graciously hear us, O Lord.
Lamb of God, Who takest away the sins of the world, Have mercy on us, O Lord.

Pray for us, O Sorrowful Virgin, That we may be made worthy of the promises of Christ.

Let Us Pray,
We beseech Thee, O Lord Jesus Christ, let Thy Mother, the Blessed Virgin Mary, whose holy soul was pierced by a sword of sorrow at the hour of Thy Passion, implore Thy mercy for us, both now and at the hour of our death, Who livest and reignest, world without end.

Amen.

Children Learn What They Live, Dorothy Law Nolte

If children live with criticism, they learn to condemn.
If children live with hostility, they learn to fight.
If children live with fear, they learn to be apprehensive.
If children live with pity, they learn to feel sorry for themselves.
If children live with ridicule, they learn to feel shy.
If children live with jealousy, they learn to feel envy.
If children live with shame, they learn to feel guilty.
If children live with encouragement, they learn confidence.
If children live with tolerance, they learn patience.
If children live with praise, they learn appreciation.
If children live with acceptance, they learn to love.
If children live with approval, they learn to like themselves.
If children live with recognition, they learn it is good to have a goal.
If children live with sharing, they learn generosity.
If children live with honesty, they learn truthfulness.
If children live with fairness, they learn justice.
If children live with kindness and consideration, they learn respect.
If children live with security, they learn to have faith in themselves and in those about them.
If children live with friendliness, they learn the world is a nice place in which to live.

1 Corinthians 13:1-13

"Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not charity, I am become as sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal.
And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries, and all knowledge; and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, and have not charity, I am nothing.
And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, and have not charity, it profiteth me nothing.
Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up,
Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil;
Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth;
Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.
Charity never faileth: but whether there be prophecies, they shall fail; whether there be tongues, they shall cease; whether there be knowledge, it shall vanish away.
For we know in part, and we prophesy in part.
But when that which is perfect is come, then that which is in part shall be done away.
When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.
For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known.
And now abideth faith, hope, charity, these three; but the greatest of these is charity."

Hold On To Your Catholic Kids

Lack of Attachment and Proclivity to Violence

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Catholic Attachment Parenting

1 Jn 4:18

Luke 1:17

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Children Learn What They Live, Dorothy Law Nolte

1 Corinthians 13:1-13